Saturday, June 22, 2013

Regaining life

Something I did not expect happened to me in May. I was offered a chance at a new life. It was presented in the form of a change switch: switch departments with a coworker and have some of the change I've been asking for from my work. Ok then.

I had no idea it was going to be so life-changing for me. I didn't move desks or even titles. I just switched responsibilities and my life was free. The change wasn't immediately felt. It took weeks of transition and training to get to something new.... and there it was.

Free time.

Something I hadn't quite experienced at this level for more than two years.

Two years.

I knew my life was out of balance, but I had no idea just how much it was until I actually came home from work - during the week - and found out I was bored. I had nothing to do! No work during the week in the evenings? Home by 7p every night? No full day of work during the weekend?

What am I going to do with myself?!

For the first week or so, I came home and just plopped on the couch, bored. I was not used to this free time and felt helpless. My fiance tried to make suggestions: paint, read, play a game, clean, laundry, draw, go shoe shopping, suck his penis, etc etc. It was so weird: so many choices and I had no idea which one to pick.

It wasn't like any of them were the wrong choice, just that I wasn't used to have any choice at all. Faced with so many choices, I froze.

I haven't had a choice in a couple of years.

When I started this blog a year and a half or so ago, I spent my weekends writing 2-3 entries while my fiance was ignored for most of a Saturday. It became a problem so I pulled back and writing and the number of entries and my stats reflected that. The past eight or six months have been a dreadful pause on writing; but I, as one person, can only do so much.

And now that I'm in a new department, I can breathe again! Live again! I was speaking with a coworker about this and found myself saying, "Yeah, I have time for a hobby again" and I just stopped speaking. What's a hobby?

I cannot believe I've been living life of 60-70 hour work weeks for so long, I've given up on any sort of hobby. Or life.

I have (or will have) a life again! I have no idea what to do with all of this time -- but surely I will find a way to occupy myself, right?

Step one: catch up on blogging.

3 comments:

  1. Yay! I'm so happy for you. My life is more chaotic the last two years as a husband has a new duty station that takes us apart 95% of the time. Add to a new job (moving constantly is challenging in the military) for me and the additional hours I am not used to, the assisting the kids to adjusting, and I have zero come-up-and=breathe time.
    That's why I began blogging, such small amount of time socializing, I needed an outlet. Would love more time for other things, and I can really appreciate the fact that you have that time now. You needed it; we all need time to be bored and breathe.

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  2. Congratulations. There is something so right when you have a job you don't dread going to yet you aren't so tied to it that you can't do anything else. It makes for a great situation. And for readers, it will be an opportunity to get to read more about you. Win-win for everyone!

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  3. This is such fantastic news! You get your life back! (and it sounds like FHF gets his love back...) :)

    Happy-making indeed! Congratulations... and have fun using all of your new-found free time ;)

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